What's going on?

So some people might well be wondering why I'm not perusing my calling to youthwork?

Why, after giving up this tech-support job once before, going to University to study Youth & Community Work with Applied Theology at the Centre for Youth Ministry, would you stop looking for youthwork jobs?

So am I done with youth ministry?

Well here's some thought's that I'm wrestling with.

1) Amount of effort put into seeking Ministry. After attending many interviews (at least a dozen) & even volunteering for a few months, flying to America & back & all the while not earning anything & being supported by family & to get no positive response was deeply frustrating.

2) The feedback from the interviews. The feedback that I received from the interviews I went to have ranged from not being Christian enough, not being passionate enough & questions over where I stand with God. Also not having the 'right' experience, with the suggestion of volunteering for a few years before reapplying for ministry jobs. How does that help someone who has 8 years real-world experience & 7 years youthwork experience? Or is it a case of being too immature?

3) A very challenging summer. This summer has been exceptionally difficult for me personally, as well as my girlfriend & her family. I'm not going to divulge what happened in the Blog-sphere, but it dragged me to the darkest I've felt since I was an angry teenager. Not positive at all & leads me to question what to do about where I served & whether I will continue to do so.

So am I done with youth ministry?

In short I don't know. In the short term, I'm not practicing youthwork at all & the one place I was practicing might not be in place next year. I'm trying not to retreat into a shell, but things are not stable yet.